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September 30, 2008

CA Article About 'Memphis Grit'

I'm happy to have had a column appear in Sunday's paper.  It's a response to the Florida columnist who called Memphis "Nashville's Dirty Drunken Cousin."  I posted a response on this blog before, but with Memphis' inferiority complex (as evidenced by all the comments on the CA site), I thought there needed to be a more official response.

The online version has some glitches, but you can read it here:

Memphis' grit creates unique, intriguing pearl of a soulful city

By Harmony Stewart Special to Commercial Appeal

Smoke curls as you walk through the door. Your steps echo on the cracked tile. Cast in a red hue and framed with peeling paint, the bar you’ve entered is a bluesified scene set for mystery. 
 
You may have seen such a place in any of the movies filmed in Memphis, but you can walk into such a place and have a “soul burger” on any given Saturday night. And it is for that reason that art imitates Memphis life so often.
 
A Florida columnist recently referred to Memphis as “Nashville’s dirty, drunken cousin,” and maybe we should consider that a compliment.
 
There’s nothing wrong with Nashville if you like that denim-and-rhinestones vibe. But where is the character? 
 
Memphis has a heartbreaking stamina for struggle that reveals its strength through those who are dedicated to its success. Nashville commercializes such struggle by turning it into a pop-country hit. And while neither city should have to struggle, we’re obviously a lot more fun when we do.
 
Downtown is the heart of Memphis. It’s the part of the community that generates tourism and communicates its image to the rest of the world. And that is exactly where Laura Capitano of the Jacksonville Times-Union formed her opinion. 
 
Ms. Capitano cited revelry on Beale Street as evidence of Memphis’ drunkenness, which is a little like being surprised at finding partying on New Orleans’ Bourbon Street. She jumped to the conclusion that young men were “performing acrobatic feats for drinkin’ money.” Obviously Ms. Capitano wasn’t aware of the Beale Street Flippers who have performed (sober, no less) at NBA games. 
 
She called the city “wild with graffiti.” If she thinks that’s dirty, we could give her a new definition that has nothing to do with spray paint. But so could Nashville. 
 
While Memphis’ shady reputation sometimes precedes it, there’s something about the city that hooks people. And those people are wholeheartedly committed to the city’s improvement and uniqueness.
 
Downtown Memphis blogger and co-founder of Handling-Panhandling Paul Ryburn says, “The people are the reason I take the time to be a community activist. I’ve lived Downtown six years and have never felt so at home anywhere else. I want people from other parts of the city and from out of town to come experience Downtown Memphis and find out why I love it so much.”
 
Local tourism entrepreneur Tad Pierson makes his living as a guide of all that is Memphiscentric. The owner of American Dream Safari describes our soulful (and possibly seedy) city this way:  “If America is an oyster, Memphis is the grain of sand that made the pearl.”
 
That’s right – we’re the sand. Nashville is easier to like, but Memphis has grit that creates indefinable beauty. Our pearl is the same intriguing quality that draws movie crews and tourists from all over the world. It’s the gift of the blues and the mystery of the past hanging in the air. It’s the beautifully authentic, dirty, drunken, hospitable, salt-of-the-earth strength of character and all.
 
 
 

 

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September 25, 2008

Memphis Flyer's Best Of Party

Thanks to the Flyer for a great party last night.  I didn't win a damn thing, but it was fun.

MICHELE WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Michele from Calhoun's got Best Bartender and Best Waitress.  Calhoun's also placed in the category of Best New Bar.

Skippy and Mikey-Jean.

Best Blogger winner Paul Ryburn with Deni & Patrick Reilly, owners of the Majestic Grille, who placed in the category of Best Restaurant.

John Bragg of Circa (middle), pictured with his wife and some friends, won Best Chef and Best Restaurant.

Big Foot racked up some categories as well.

Last, but not least (and not pictured here), Sit-and-Spindini won Best Cougar Bar!!!!!!!

 

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September 23, 2008

Wine Recommendation

Sunday evening, The Blue Monkey had one of their wine tastings.  I believe these are monthly, and the price of $15 includes 5 wines and appetizers. 

The featured wines were by Marquis Phillips, and not only are wine tastings educational, Blue Monkey wine tastings are, frankly, a good, cheap buzz.  They didn't skimp on the pour, and in fact, they refilled the glasses each time.  The experience is more than worth your money.

My favorite of these Australian wines was the Grenache, which is a very smooth red, reminiscent of gingerbread, blueberries, and, as my friend Ruby pointed out, blackberries.

This particular wine is very affordable, and as the rest of them are, will be available at the Corkscrew tomorrow.  I highly recommend it.

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September 19, 2008

New Saturday Brunch at Calhoun's

Tomorrow, Calhoun's will have a brunch buffet 11-12, $5/plate.  If it goes well, this may become a regular thing, so stop by and check it out.
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September 18, 2008

Beggars Being Choosy and A New Anti-Panhandling Solution

So a man walks into a bar.  This bar is in Downtown Memphis.  And stereotypes aside, everyone knows he's not there to buy a beer.  As it turns out, after several attempts by the bartender to get the guy's order, he said he just wanted to sit there.  It wasn't cold or raining or anything like that, but he just wanted to take up a seat.

A guy walks into a coffee shop, and he says, "Hey man, can you just gimme something to eat?  I'm hungry."  The coffee shop attendant says, "Sorry.  I can tell you where a shelter is."  The bum says, "I can't eat there, man.  They got too much sugar and bread."  The attendant points to the muffins and other normal things you find in a coffee shop and says, "That's what we have."

Our bums are choosy beggars, and I heard a good suggestion last night for getting rid of them.  The bus to crack town.  And that's what it'll say on the side of the bus.  Or "Ride this bus and get $5" or "Want some malt liquor?"  And then when filled with passengers, this bus will be driven, by a very skilled stuntman, into the river.  Too cruel?  Okay, off the face of the earth or anywhere far, far away.

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September 16, 2008

Okay, So The Prosecutor's Not Imcompetent

Okay, okay, so maybe I jumped the gun.  I was just informed that prosecutor Don Siemer was on SJB's case, and he didn't prosecute because SJB had already spent four days in jail.  Siemer didn't pursue the court process for one more day of jail, which is what he would've gotten for the specific charge of sleeping on a park bench. 

SJB had to sign a court order that he would not do this again, and if he does, he'll automatically spend another five days in jail.  So it sounds justified, and it's not as if SJB will be locked up for life for sleeping on a park bench or for panhandling anyway.

Larry Bloom, who heads the security patrol initiative at the CCC, considers Don Siemer an ally in the courts against panhandling, so I apologize, Mr. Siemer, for jumping to conclusions.  He did his job, and there wasn't anything else he could do in this case.

Maybe SJB learned something from those four days.  I just hope I don't seem him again any time soon.  And I hope I don't have to blog about him ever again.

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SJB Back On The Street

Well, after my smug post yesterday, SJB may very well be back in the 103, thanks to some incompetent prosecutor.  And the only thing worse than SJB is that SOB who didn't care or didn't make it his business to know how much effort went into getting this criminal off the streets.  You can get the details on Paul's blog.

No wonder Memphis has a bad reputation when the city and county officials don't give a shit; when the citizens have to do the cops' jobs.  Did we need to take more time out of our lives to go to court and do the prosecutor's job too?  Oops.  Our bad.

I personally called the D.A.'s office to find out who the prosecutor was and complain.  I haven't even complained yet because they "couldn't" tell me "who was at the podium," but that didn't stop the person on the phone from already being rude.  She asked why I wanted to know.  "Are you a victim or witness?" she said. 

I just told her I had reason to be interested and concerned.  But come to think of it, I did witness one of the crimes listed on his lengthy rap sheet, and now I'm calling their media director as a journalist.  If they don't want to tell me as a concerned citizen, they can explain to everyone in the paper why they didn't prosecute this dangerous menace who already thought he was entitled to his criminal activity.

 

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September 15, 2008

SJB In Jail

As I'm sure you've heard by now, SJB got arrested, thanks to the CDA, Paul, and Mikey.  I had nothing to do with it, but I told you he was going down.  All the extra attention focused on him and the pressure put on the CDA by concerned citizens led to them finding out that there was already an outstanding warrant for his arrest.  And then it was on the news!

This is just one example of teamwork by Downtown residents who are dedicated to a certain standard of living.  Soon not even East Bumblefuckians will be able to deny how special (and safe) Downtown is.  It's our community.  It doesn't belong to the bums.  They may be used to living off the manipulation of tourists, but not anymore.  Bye-bye, Herbert Willis (aka SJB).  If you get out of jail, don't come back to the 38103.

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September 11, 2008

Thursday Is The New Friday

It's Thursday, and you're already excited.  Aren't you?  You were a grouch all week, but now with the anticipation of Friday, you're annoyingly upbeat.  It's the only day that begins with "f," the same letter that "fun" starts with.  You cheekly, little monkey. 

The sweet allure of ice cold, golden barley and hops is creeping into your frontal cerebral fun zone, and there's no way you can wait until two more 5 o'clocks roll around.  Work sucks.  You deserve it, the sweet, chilled pint of golden barley and hops, that is.  It is for that reason -- that one more day of total discipline would be unbearable -- that Thursday is the new Friday. 

Of course, I don't have to worry about the stresses of the corporate 8-5.  (I would've said 9, but let's not kid ourselves.)  My life is all bloody marys, Dr. Phil, and tapping away on my laptop while I sun myself on the veranda.  But I remember what it's like, and I feel your pain.

Yes, it is true that all work and no play makes [insert your name] a dull boy/girl.  And for that reason, I have suggestions for tonight.

  • Tonight is the first night for Disney's High School Musical On Ice at the FedEx Forum.  You know you don't want to miss that.
  • But seriously, Afterglow is playing the Flying Saucer, starting at 9:30pm.  This band can do almost any request.
  • The Dempseys will be at Blues City Cafe at 10.
  • And songwriter Amy Rigby plays the Hi-Tone at 9pm.  $10 cover.  I've never seen her, but The Flyer's Chris Herrington touts her as the best songwriter you've never heard of and called one of her records the grown up Exile In Guyville.  As a Liz Phair fan, that's enough for me.  I will definitely go if anyone wants to a) drive, and b) pay my cover. 

 

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September 10, 2008

SJB's True Identity and (Big Surprise) Arrest Record

I am very grateful to Handling-Panhandling for discovering and revealing the real name of "St. Jude Bum," pictured in a previous post.  Courtesy of their site, his name is Herbert Willis, born March 22, 1956.  Shelby County Court records indicate he's been arrested for motor vehicle burglary, selling a controlled substance, forgery, assault, grand larceny, aggravated robbery, theft of property, disorderly conduct, public intoxication, and of course panhandling.  If there was any doubt whether or not he was homeless, his address of record on recent arrests is 917 Mt. Vernon, (which would be in the Highland and Park area). 

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A Few Things To Live For

Just in case you're having one of those weeks, there is something to look forward to.  If you're wondering why you had to wake up again just to waste precious moments of your life in a cubicle, going through the mundane motions, pretending to care about bullshit, making money for some asshole while you surf the web for better alternatives, living paycheck to paycheck, there is some fun on the horizon.  I'm just saying, just in case, here's a reminder of some good things to come.

Saturday is the Cooper-Young Festival!
Wed., the 17th is the first of the Fall Concert Series with the Neosoulville Showcase at Gayoso Lane and Peabody Place.
Sun., the 21st is the South Main Association's Oktoberfest at Harry's Detour.
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September 09, 2008

Low Self-Esteem? TV Therapy

I recently received my first request for advice since my announcement of a new advice column.  Thanks to this reader for playing along.  I hope this helps.

Dear Memphis Limelight,

My name is Gary, and I moved Downtown a few months ago.  I have been in Memphis for several years since moving here for work, but I still don't have what I consider to be good friends.  And forget about women because I am extremely shy.

I guess I should be used to it because I've always been shy, but I hoped in the real world and in a new place things would be different.  I thought the fast-paced Downtown lifestyle would jumpstart my social life, but that has yet to happen.  I'm not bad looking and I'm successful, but no one seems to care.  They don't need new friends I guess.

I don't have anyone else to talk to.

Lonely In Memphis

 

Dear Lonely Guy,

I've never met a Gary I liked, and I have a feeling it would be the same story with you because you seem to be wallowing in self-pity.  I would, however, be your friend out of a feeling of obligation, and that's a lot of responsibility to put on your acquaintances.

Seriously, I know what it's like to be shy.  It can be painful, but you have to live by the adage "you have to be a friend to make one," or however it goes. 

If you're not getting invited to happy hours with your co-workers, start interjecting yourself.  Many Downtown relationships, friendly and otherwise, are built on uninhibited intoxication.  And even if you don't drink, conversation takes practice to get good at.  Ask people about themselves, and you won't have to do much talking.  And then they'll think you're the greatest guy ever.

Everyone has redeeming qualities, Lonely Gary.  Even you.  And for the purpose of boosting your self-esteem, I am prescribing three television shows.

  1. Intervention on A&E.  Assuming you're not an addict, this show will make you feel like a million bucks.
  2. Bridezillas on WE.  I know it sounds like a chick show, but it has some of the meanest, craziest bitches on the planet.  This show will confirm that you are a nice, decent person, and it will warn of the dangers of getting involved with the wrong person if you let low self-esteem get the best of you.
  3. Love Me, Love My Doll on BBC America.  This show documents the horrifying, hilarious, and deeply sad lives of men who live with "real dolls," which are very realistic sex dolls.  I know you're lonely, and if you have a sex doll, there's no judgment.  But once you start relating to the doll as if it's your significant other, you've gone too far.  If indeed you're not a total loser, this show is a jaw-dropper, and it will serve as reassurance that you're a normal guy with plenty to offer.

Once you've undergone your televised shock treatment, you should be ready to roll.  And remember, you don't have to be talkative to be enjoyable to be around.  Just be yourself.  It really does work.

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September 05, 2008

Like to take pictures of Memphis?

The CA is accepting photo submissions under the theme "Capture Memphis."  Some photos will be published in a coffee table book, and there is an online contest.  You have 23 days to submit photos.  Get all the info here.
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September 04, 2008

Rumba Room Opening

I received the following in an email.  Ladies, I recommend getting your man just drunk enough so he doesn't mind dancing.  Or just dance with your girlfriends.

 

This Friday Night
DATE: Sept. 5, 2008
TIME: Doors open at 8pm
LOCATION: 303 S. Main, Memphis
ADMISSION: $5
Ladies free until 11pm

The Rumba Room is downtown Memphis' newest hotspot and first-ever venue exclusively for Latin music. Come & experience our soft opening this Friday night! Doors open at 8:00pm with FREE beginner salsa lessons!!

Food available with cash bar! 1000 sq ft hardwood dance floor! Upscale atmosphere, non-smoking environment! Salsa Memphis DJ's spinning the hottest salsa mix in town!
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New Game Day Special at Calhoun's

Starting this weekend, every Saturday and Sunday, you have a chance to get 25% off your tab during the "game of the day."

They will post the game of the day every Monday, and if the team picked by Calhoun's covers the opening line, you will receive 25% off your tab from the start of that chosen game to the end of it.  You must be present prior to kick off and stay through the end of the game to get the discount.

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September 03, 2008

I'd Rather Be The Dirty, Drunken Cousin

The Commercial Appeal recently linked a Florida Times-Union columnist who called Memphis "Nashville's dirty, drunken cousin."  Well, my first reaction is: Is that supposed to be an insult? 

You've been to Nashville, right?  I have, and while Tennesseans obviously don't have to drink to have a good time, we're a lot more fun when we do.  In fact, alcohol makes big hair, countrified caucasians, and let's not forget, our politicians, a lot more acceptable and funny.  You might say that Memphis drinks because of Nashville.

She thinks she's so pretty in her denim and rhinestones, but as the favorite with all the money, she's just tacky and boring.  Stealing our struggles to wail about in some generic pop-country bullshit.  I'd rather be the dirty, drunken cousin.

The Jacksonville columnist, Laura Capitano, cited revelry on Beale Street as evidence of Memphis' drunkenness, which is a little like being surprised by witnessing partying on Bourbon Street.  She said, "you see young men performing acrobatic feats for drinkin' money," which is just plain insulting.  Obviously, she isn't aware of the Beale Street Flippers, who are impressive enough to have performed at Grizzlies games.  At least they have a skill and a show.  Why did she assume they were flipping for booze?

Capitano called the city "wild with graffiti."  If she thinks that's dirty, she really doesn't get out much.  We can show you dirty, lady.  How about a drive through the 'hood? 

Yes, we are crime-ridden.  And we are dirty.  In comparison, Nashville is squeaky clean and so ... white.  She's much easier to be proud of.

What Ms. Capitano didn't pick up on is Memphis' intriguing character, seedy though it may be.  Memphis has a heartbreaking stamina for constant struggle that reveals the strength of character of those who stay out of love and a committment to raising standards.

Every day in Memphis, the past meets the present, black meets white, and ordinary people make a difference because they care.  So if you don't get it, don't come back, or better yet, email me, and I'll show you the real Memphis, dirty, drunken Southern hospitality and all.

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September 02, 2008

Picture of SJB

Here's a picture of "St. Jude Bum" courtesy of Handling-Panhandling.  This is the extremely aggressive bum I posted about yesterday.  It's better to keep your distance from this guy, but if you see him panhandling, please call the Security Patrol immediately at 901-281-9146. 

 

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September 01, 2008

Know What'll Ruin Your Day? Bums

Saturday, at the festival, I witnessed a particular bum angrily berating a certain someone who started the local anti-bum crusade.  This bum who has been dubbed "St. Jude Bum" (because he was once caught panhandling in the name of the organization) caused a scene, yelling at the Security Patrol officer that he was being wrongly accused by our friends who spotted him "working."  Since they were unable to get video or catch him in the act, the patrol had to let him go.  But while causing this scene, St. Jude Bum angrily and threateningly eyed and pointed at my friend who reported him.

Last night, after enjoying the festival, I spotted the same asshole panhandling a family getting out of their car.  When I saw the father of three young kids getting his wallet out, I shouted to him that it didn't cost anything to park there.  His wife repeated it to make sure he heard, confirming that the bum was hustling them.

Once again, SJB reacted in a very aggressive manner.  He threateningly rushed my boyfriend and me, yelling three inches from our faces.  "Get on your phones.  Call the cops!" he yelled.  "They're just giving me money to watch their car, so I'm gonna get in your face about it."  When I flagged down a cop who was driving by and told him, SJB ran up to the cop, shouting over me.  Wanting to keep my distance from this explosive menace, I stepped away, and the cop drove off.  Very disappointing.

Obviously, SJB has found a method that has worked for him so far.  He feels so entitled to his panhandling practices, that he becomes completely enraged when his bumming is jeopardized.  He probably scared the kids, and that family probably won't come back Downtown for quite a while. 

This asshole is potentially very dangerous, and we can't let him continue to get away with threatening those who report him.  His behavior worked in this instance because, feeling somewhat threatened, I didn't get my camera out.  I did, however, call the cops and report the whole thing, including the fact that the officer drove away.  They did call me back, looking for him, but as far as I know, were unable to find him.

Mark my words: SJB is going down.  I will obtain a picture as soon as possible.  In the meantime, look out for a black male, approximately 50 - 60, fairly well-dressed and groomed.  And he'll be the one that's yelling.

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Another Great Memphis Heritage Fest

This weekend's Music and Heritage festival was even better than past years.  In addition to a great lineup and art, I was impressed by the volunteers and Center workers who were on top of everything.  They were even stationed at just the right points according to the performances, assisting in the traffic flow of the crowd. 

When it came to the music, among several good acts, I have to say that Alicja Trout & The River City Tanlines stole the show.  If you didn't catch this band, you should the very next chance you get.

Here are some festival pics:

Billy Gibson on the Main stage.

Chef Michael Patrick cooking up some spicy gumbo.

 

 

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